What’s it like to be a Spice addict? We asked one prisoner who agreed to share his story with us. Click below to see the article as it appeared in magazine format or scroll down for a text only version.
Diary of a Spice Addict – Text only version:
We wanted to do an article on Spice and got talking to a former Spice Addict. He volunteered his time to talk to us anonymously and help us with this article. The following interview is an open and honest account from a former Spice Addict that we’ll refer to as “Mr X”.
Q: Would you be willing to tell us a little about yourself before you came to prison?
Mr. X: “I used to be one of the most clean living people you could have met. Drugs and alcohol did not enter my thoughts never mind my everyday life. As time went on during this sentence my view towards drugs changed completely I think this is mainly due to some of the bad things I have witnessed. The temptation to try drugs is always there, everyday. Most days you are strong enough to say no, but there can always be a moment of weakness when you’re likely to give in.”
Q: Can you tell us about the first time you smoked Spice?
Mr. X: “I can remember the first time I smoked spice, it was back in 2010. Other people had told me about how good it was. It didn’t show up in piss tests like real ganja (cannabis) did and how it was stronger. Well after hearing that the sceptic in me took over so I decided to try some, to see if all this was true. But not having a clue about spice I thought I will build a nice three-paper spliff (cigarette) like I did with the weed. Big mistake. This spice stuff was majorly overpowering. I mean to describe what I felt I can only say that I felt like I was gonna die. I asked my cell-mate to call an ambulance which of course he couldn’t as it would have put us all on a nicking i.e. do you grass yourself up (no-mate) by helping your pad-mate? I felt sick, dizzy, heart palpitations. I had only had two puffs! As it happened then, that same spliff was shared by at least six different people and hammered all of them the same.”
Q: What happened next or after? How did you feel?
Mr. X: “Funnily enough it didn’t put me off. Rather than think that I was lucky to survive, when I recovered I saw the funny side of things; such was my mind-set at the time. Rather than do the smart thing and quit I learnt from my mistake of over-filling the spliffs and I built up my tolerance to this drug.” “As my tolerance grew I started trying different strains. Every time I saw a new brand of this drug I thought I found the answer to my problems with depression. Whenever I had a problem, once I had a smoke, things just didn’t seem as bad. Even a knock-back from parole seemed like a minor thing as long as I had a smoke. But then the problem would come back worse and it came like not having a smoke was another problem.”
Q: So Smoking Spice was a coping mechanism to get you through your sentence?
Mr. X: “Over the years moving through the system I saw with my own eyes how damaging this drug could be. But I just thought, like any other drug, it depends on your mind-set on how a drug affects you which is crazy! All I learnt from my first time was I put too much in, not realising this drug had already taken hold of me. There is a spice called “Green Crack” and I couldn’t have described it better ‘cos that is the effect it has on you.”
Q: Have you seen the effect that Spice has had on others?
Mr. X: “At this stage I would like to say I am a long term prisoner and I’m not here to put it on anyone else, I’m just reflecting on my own experience. So I’m not trying to be your regular point scoring wrong-un. Over the years I have seen a few incidents that have given me cause for concern. For example I was in one jail sat on a chair at the end of the third landing just talking to someone on association when suddenly, out of the blue, a guy just ran out of a cell and dived head first straight over the railings and crashed onto the one’s netting. I was proper shaken as I thought he had broke his neck, but lucky enough the wire had taken the full impact of his fall and he just got up and walked away laughing. That still sticks out in my mind, but like anybody else who’s been in for any length time, we have all seen the effects of this stuff first hand. It’s gone like there is no limit to how bad these stories can be, at this stage there is nothing that would shock me or surprise me, which ain’t good really.”
Q: What do you mean about things not shocking you anymore?
Mr. X: “Another recent incident I can recall was when I was on a lower landing in the same jail and I heard some terrible screaming coming from the landing above. So off me and a few others went to
investigate only to see a guy had taken out his own eye with a plastic prison knife. It was that horrible that even the paramedics felt queasy when they came to deal with him! All this was down to the man smoking spice as we all found out.”
Q: So how did that make you feel?
Mr. X: “After seeing these and quite a few more incidents in different establishments, as an addict I would always try to minimise them, to look for the funny side, anything as long as it didn’t make me think “Am I like that when I smoke?” or “If it’s doing that to him, what’s it doing to me?” Sadly I never faced up to it and it has affected me a bit, made me slow down a bit you see, but I still have most of my faculty’s in order or else I don’t think I would have done this article. But now, I do ask the question “How bad has prison got where we as inmates have to get out of it (stoned) to get by?” We have done wrong but it seems the only time the authorities are bothered is when the general public get to hear about these incidents. Common sense should tell them what’s really going on. There are so many people in despair who have no idea when they are getting out or when they are moving on. Like I said at the beginning, spice is a comfort zone and becomes the norm when there is no other hope. I don’t say that it’s right but what’s the alternative? And it’s not just something that affects long termers or lifers. So many lads just lose heart and have a moment of weakness that ruins them. All it takes is a bad phone call from home or a letter. Anything that hurts enough that they lose their judgement. As I said, Spice is a matter of fact every single day here. There are as many dealers as users at times. You can say no a million times but that one other time there is a dealer waiting to take advantage.”
Q: What do you think would be beneficial to the people that are using Spice?
Mr. X: “More emphasis needs to be put on rehabilitation and less on punitive, i.e., if I ever wanted to admit to smoking to try and get help I’d just be worried about getting nicked. Maybe the Rehab should look for the clue in their title just like healthcare! I’m not slagging off the healthcare and IDTS team, they do great work, but lads are often afraid to ask for help because of the long term effects. Even if they don’t get nicked, they are worried about notes on NOMIS files and Security spins. Will they get knocked back from Cat D? There are more ways to lose out than getting a nicking and basic.”
Q: What was it that made you stop? What helped you?
Mr. X: “Well I’m still fighting it. It’s an on-going battle. Like I said there is temptation every day but all I’ve got is hope. The major turning point was when my family tugged me on it. They had seen the news reports on the out. I thought I was clever and that they would never know, but one night on the phone my sister heard my voice slurring and pulled me up on it straightaway. It made me think about it seriously for the first time and decide to make a change. It took that embarrassment, to feel like I’d let others down to force my hand. I spoke to some of the more sensible lads on the unit and started to change who I hung around with. I avoided being in situations where Spice was the focus.
Each day I feel a little bit better, a bit sharper, a bit more energetic, a bit more like me! The banter is coming back and my family are a bit less worried. Another big thing is I get to keep my canteen! I’m just enjoying having things like coffee and little treats – not having to hand over everything to a dealer and start working on borrowing against next weeks again!”
IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING YOU CAN GET SUPPORT THROUGH HEALTHCARE, LISTENERS, CHAPLAINCY, OR WING STAFF.
