Shabba!
The lads on the wing have a new game called ‘Shabba’ – the latest in juvenile distractions and I fear it will end up in tears. Over the years I’ve seen this scenario play over in numerous varied incarnations. 2 years ago there was a similar game called ‘Sack’.
The premise of ‘Sack’ was to flick another man’s genitals while shouting ‘Sack!’ – referring to a man’s ball sack/scrotum. It happened frequently wherever men queued – either at the servery for diets, waiting to get through the gates at moves or waiting in line for medication at the healthcare department. The game initially started among a small group of mates – and stayed that way for a few days. But eventually somebody else decided it would be funny to join in by flicking the sack one of the games inventors. This was the unspoken but accepted affirmation that a new member had joined the game and was now a viable target. Over the next fortnight new members were initiated and the game grew in popularity. However, unlike 5 aside football kickabout’s with ‘shirts’ and ‘skins’ to distinguish team members – there was no way to determine if the man next to you in the queue was a player.
Jamesey was in the dinner queue when he spotted an unguarded sack and went for it – Jeff responded by punching Jamesey square in the face. The Kangas came along and asked what had been going on and in fairness both men said that they had tripped and fallen – staunch stuff. But the Kangas went to the office, rolled back the CCTV and when they saw the altercation they challenged Jeff for punching Jamesey. In his defence Jeff explained that he only reacted after Jamesey grabbed for his genitals.
Jamesey and Geoff were banged up in their respective cells for the night and the next morning both were taken separately the block to sit in front of the governor.
A few hours later Jeff came back and quietly went to his cell. When Jamesey came back he told the group that he was being kicked off the enhanced unit.
“Did you explain that it was just a joke?”, one of the lads enquired.
“I did”, Jamesey answered, “but that just seem to wind him up even more and it really went all downhill from there lads. Listen I better go and pack my stuff.”
With that Jamesey went about his business and a fair few lads looked at each other contemplatively until one said, “That Jeff is a grass – he’s bang out of order.” The group set about mumbling agreements and I felt bad for Jeff – but I didn’t get involved.
It just made me think of how words and actions can be interpreted after the event. I pictured Jamesey in the witness box being questioned by a QC barrister in full robes and wig…
“… And why did you think it was acceptable to grope Mr X’s genitals?”
“I didn’t want to grope him – I just tried to flick him.”
“… To flick him? So you lunged forwards with your hands aimed that his genitals. What do you expect that he was thinking?”
“I didn’t think that… It was only meant to be a joke – laugh.”
“… Am I to understand that you believe sexual assault is a joke? That it is a ‘laugh’ to lunged forwards like a predator and intend on grabbing somebody’s genitals?”
Things just got serious. There is such a huge difference between the words spoken in a specific context and the sober words that are read out in court with all of that added gravitas. As I think back on my life I genuinely poop myself when I consider how some of the things I have done could be interpreted.
Anyway, that was 2 years ago – when Jamesey got kicked off playing ‘Sack’. Now ‘Shabba’ is a completely different matter. This game started among 4 lads – all of them co-defendants from the same geographical area. But like ‘Sack’ a few lads that have watched these 4 playing ‘Shabba’, thinking it funny, have played along.
‘Shabba’ started around the pool table – but it is played elsewhere now and once again – even in these social distancing times – it is played in queues. To play ‘Shabba’ one must sneak up behind another player, swiftly raise one’s arm and wedge one’s thumb in a targets arse crack while exclaiming ‘Shabba!’.
It’s a bad case of history repeating. I had considered telling the lads what happened last time, but then I thought better of it. If I did tell them – and they didn’t listen – I might be tempted down the road into an ‘I told you so!’. There’s just no upside to me getting involved in this.
So it’s a case of you do your time, I’ll do mine and a big thumbs up from me lads.
‘SHABBA!’
Update:
4 days after writing this blog one of the lads decided to ‘Shabba’ somebody in the wing lobby while we were waiting for our exercise session to begin. The ‘victim’ promptly spun on his heel, grabbed his assailant by the throat and delivered four meaty punches to his face before a Kanga and the lads managed to pull them apart. Both lads were packing their kit and being booted off the enhanced wing within one hour. ‘Shabba!’
