Parole
My progression had always seemed so far off – but suddenly it has become very, very real. I received 200 and something pages recently – my parole dossier. I am starting my Pre-Tariff Sift.
As a lifer, I can progress to open conditions without being signed off by the parole board. The Pre-Tariff Sift is designed to gauge whether or not I have any realistic chance of progression. My 200+ page dossier is made up of reports and observations from prison officers, psychologists and other staff members like education tutors and work supervisors.
One of the obstacles I have faced has been racking my brains trying to remember the events surrounding some of the observations – to provide context to some of the entries. I am seeing much of the security and intelligence information in the dossier for the first time and little of it has been attributed to a specific source – so I find myself searching back through a decade of my sentence, almost in a state of self-induced hypnosis…
March 2012 – which prison? Which wing? Which cell? Did I have a pad made at the time? What job was I doing? The 6 Nations finishes in March – who won in 2012? These reminiscences are a distraction, and on reflection they highlight just how far I have come in my sentence – but most aren’t really serving a purpose. However, when I examine the events that I can remember clearly I have found abject lessons in perspective. Where I can recall an event and remember my beliefs or intentions at that time, I found it fascinating to see how my actions have been perceived by others.
If somebody takes offence at the words I use, then I just have to accept that my words were offensive. If my behaviour is perceived by somebody as being abusive, well I have to accept that I have been abusive. My intention does not matter – I have no right to dictate how somebody should feel about what I say or do. Once I say or do something I have lost ownership – my words and actions become autonomous creatures, I give them life like Frankenstein’s monster that can come back to haunt me. As I read a decade’s worth of my dossier I can draw some small comfort from the fact that I have learned to be more discerning in what I say and do. This change has been evidenced by latter-day observations in my dossier. There are far fewer Frankenstein’s.
The overall tone of my dossier is positive. I have never had a nicking, adjudication or an IEP warning. I guess I’m the Gary Lineker of lifers – I’ve never had a booking. My dossier holds no real areas of contention, and no major concerns have been raised regarding my behaviour. I have been commended for how constructively I’ve used my time.
I have the option to retain legal representation, but given the lack of contentious issues in my dossier I don’t anticipate a need for a legal wrangler to argue points of law. In this situation, I am disinclined to trust my feet to somebody who will have (at best) a cursory knowledge of my sentence.
Now I have to prepare my representations, to make my case for progression. My representations will effectively bookend my dossier which will then be sent for consideration by a single member of the parole board. Then I have to sit back and wait for their recommendations.
Perhaps the best outcome for me would involve the single panel member recommending that my case should proceed to an oral hearing. This is the parole board hearing which many will have seen played out in TV dramas and movies, where a panel will interview me, my offender supervisor and any relevant experts before making their recommendations.
The single panel member may also decide the further reports are necessary, e.g. a psychologist’s risk assessment, before the case can go in front of a parole board. Or in the worst case, the single panel member may decide that there is no real chance of the progressive outcome and give me a ‘knock-back’ for a couple of years.
As I read my parole dossier I am struggling to identify anything else I could or should have done to evidence real change. I will put forward the strongest case that I possibly can and whatever happens, happens. I have no control over the decision-making process and I’m okay with that.
One of the other lads on the wing recently received his dossier and suggested that it’s a bad time to be starting the parole process because of the Covid 19 lockdown, that it’s very unfair to be facing delays because of Coronavirus. I just don’t see it that way.
I can see that there is ever a bad time for parole – unless you have no chance of progression – and even then, surely a slim chance of progression is better than none at all.
But at the crux of this, I won’t forget why I am in this situation – I have killed somebody. My sentence was life imprisonment with a possibility of parole – I’m not the victim here. My progression and ultimately my freedom are not intrinsic rights. For me to bemoan any delay, for any reason, seems at best churlish and at worst downright offensive.
