There are guys who offer haircuts for a fee – it could be a tin of tuna, mackerel or a bag of coffee. Some laundry orderlies offer extra washes or ironing services for a modest stipend. Like the essay factories that have sprung up among undergraduate students in the community, there are lads who will even complete coursework for a price. But for me, when it comes to doing something for somebody else I generally help lads out for free. I am not a listener and peer supporter any more – purely because I like to be able to decide who I work with. Ultimately I get the opportunity to learn, and there’s the feel good factor in being able to help people. It kind of makes my time in here worth something.
A lot of the help I offer these days comes in the form of advice on training/diet or in the form of sports massage. During the latter I generally chat to the ‘client’ like a barber or hairdresser I guess. We will talk about subjects ranging from progressing through the sentence to what we would do when we got out – but in order to preserve a masculine, hetero or even asexual tone, when it comes to massage most conversations end up about exercise.
“I miss CV training during this Covid crap”, I told one of the lads during the lockdown. “I’ve been trying to order a skipping rope – but the security department keeps knocking me back.”
“But there are lads with skipping ropes – what’s the problem?”, he asked me.
“It seems to be a newish policy. If you already have a rope, then you’re okay. But they won’t let anybody order new ones”. A similar situation had developed regarding resistance bands – for years they were permitted, but suddenly they couldn’t be purchased any more. I had been lucky when I got my resistance bands. A friend had purchased a set before they were banned, when he was moving on from the prison he was decent enough to ‘gift’ them to me. I made the argument that they were an authorised set of bands – having been in the prison before the ban came into effect – and that I should be allowed to have them. I had been successful on that occasion and the resistance bands have been an absolute blessing.
On this day, while my client was on the table, we stayed on topic and discussed the obvious flaws. Aside from some ropes being perfectly legitimate, there was no explanation offered for the sudden ‘volte face’ in policy. If there were an identified risk of suicide we reasoned that belts, dressing gown cords and shoelaces should also be on the banned list.
Once again it seemed that the prison security department simply pulled the rug out because it was easy. It can feel disheartening at times when the security team impose a rule on the 500+ men in the prison rather than target the few individuals that have caused the problem. It’s hardly an incentive to go ‘above and beyond’ if the establishment does not distinguish between you and a peer who has no agenda other than to disrupt. I would argue that imposing Draconian rules in a knee-jerk reaction actually panders to the minority who just want to cause chaos.
He asked me, “why don’t you just borrow a skipping rope?”, and I explained that I wouldn’t borrow something if I had no way of replacing it if it broke.
“Jay has one”, he told me. Jay was a semi regular client of mine – dodgy rotator cuff that flared up periodically. “He might do a deal with you”.
A day or 2 later Jay asked if I could fit him in for a massage. Afterwards I advised him on some key exercises he should avoid while waiting for his appointment with the prison doctor. He asked if there was anything that he could get me for my help and I have course said, “No thanks mate. But answer me this. A little bird told me that you have a skipping rope – now given the state of your shoulder, I can’t imagine that you are getting much value out of it at the moment?”
“Are you kidding me? It must be a couple of months since I even took it out from under my bed!”
“Well that being the case Jay, is there any way you will consider selling or trading it? I’ve been trying to get my hands on one for months”
“Sorry Moose”, he answered, “I can’t sell it, seeing how it would be against prison rules and all that. However, let me get an application and I’ll gift it to you. It’s yours, with my compliments”
While karma can be a B-irritant, it is not exclusively negative. When I have a good attitude and optimistic outlook it’s reassuring that the universe sometimes responds to that positivity. I find that by doing good, that good things tend to appear in my way.
