When somebody believes that Princess Diana was murdered as part of an elaborate conspiracy, there is little hope of changing their mind. The moon landings are another beauty – how do you go about proving that NASA, Neil Armstrong et al. didn’t fake the moon landings?
So when Trump’s supporters are steadfast in their belief that the 2020 election was stolen from them, it is only because they are loathe to admit that they might have been wrong. There is a perfect case from history that made me examine my own long held beliefs, I first met Marion Keech in a book titled ‘Wilful Blindness’ by Margaret Heffernan.
In the 1950’s, one Marion Keech declared that she had received messages from an alien species on planet Clarion. Apparently the human race had become unholy and selfish and as a result, the aliens were going to trigger a mega-flood that would cleanse humanity from the planet. However, those people that were deemed worthy would be evacuated before the flood and returned afterwards to repopulate the planet. Ms Keech went as far as to name the date of the flood – which intrigued a psychiatrist. He wanted to know what Ms Keech and her followers would do if this prophesised flood failed to materialise. He embedded spies. By the time of the flood, the group had swollen to about twenty supporters with some having quit their jobs, while others had stopped paying their bills. On the night of the flood they gathered in Marion Keech’s house and counted down to midnight – waiting for their evacuation spaceship.
At midnight they figured the clock they had been using might be fast – it’ll be ok.
Next they thought the flood might be coming at midnight central or Pacific Time – they waited.
After 3 am one of the supporters went home and the psychiatrist’s stooges watched, waiting for them to admit defeat. They could hardly have predicted the outcome. Rather than admit defeat they doubled down – they reasoned that the flood had been called off because the group’s faith had been enough to stay the order of execution. The aliens had recognised that this group of good people had demonstrated that humanity was worth saving. Well hallelujah!
Even when the flaws in somebody’s beliefs are exposed, people tend to dig in and defend their perspective; the views become even more entrenched. I believe this is the case with the MAGA movement. Over 70 million ‘forgotten’ Americans voted for The Donald, he spoke to their beliefs and gave them a voice. He supported traditional views that were being challenged by the evolution and diversification of society. When he was president it was confirmation for this population that their views were righteous – and if they were happy, these proud Americans – then surely all Americans would be happy – in fact, if anybody was unhappy, they would have to be un-American surely?
So if this movement was beloved by ALL Americans, how can it be that The Donald was not re-elected? The Donald offered the explanation that the other side cheated and the election was stolen. This was the critical point – where the movement crossed the Rubicon. The MAGA movement chose to believe this narrative and that they are still righteous and their views are shared by every real American. They’ve taken the Kool-Aid.
Now their views are utterly entrenched. If an individual in the group were to question the word of The Donald they would be immediately ostracised and ex-communicated. If the group started to believe that the election was in fact free and fair they would have to question the word of The Donald. If the Donald had lied to them about this – what else might he have lied about.
This is the fundamental difficulty in challenging beliefs – they are an interwoven tapestry built up from a single perspective on a lifetime’s experiences. They are fundamental to our mental wellbeing – the barometer against which we gauge everything else. When we start to challenge our beliefs, we are pulling at the threads that can start to unravel beyond our control.
I grew up in a home with loving parents. They often argued bitterly and usually resented each other until there was an outside threat when they became united in adversity, or until I had done something wrong when they could be disappointed together. They went days without speaking to each other and it seemed like they were perpetually competing for some sort of moral high ground. But whatever else was happening, they had to stick it out together – that was their overriding belief.
In a 1995 study, the psychologist Goleman observed, “Family life is our first school for emotional learning; in this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings … this emotional schooling operates not just through the things parents say and do directly to children, but also in the models they offer for handling their own feelings and those that pass between husband and wife. Some parents are gifted emotional teachers, others atrocious.”
I assert that many of my beliefs about relationships were derived from my parent’s marriage. This was my frame of reference. I’m not shirking personal responsibility or blaming my parents – God alone knows what emotional lessons their parents passed on to them. I merely seek to expose the origin of the beliefs that enabled me to justify my abusive and violent behaviours; to illustrate how was I able to ignore the warning signs that were so blindingly obvious in retrospect?
I believed that the relationship I had with my victim was feisty and passionate. In actual fact our relationship was volatile, toxic and abusive. I repeated the patterns of behaviour that I had seen in my parents. Deep down I knew that my relationship was harmful to both of us, and I knew that it would inevitably come to an explosive end. Yet I blinded myself to that reality and by doing so I was becoming increasingly self-loathing. As my inner conflict increased my behaviours escalated which caused more internal turmoil leading to further escalation – a vicious cycle.
When a lifetime’s worth of beliefs finally started to unravel in the midst of an alcohol fuelled confrontation with my partner I couldn’t cope with the depths of fear and shame that were spontaneously unleashed. I was floundering and struggling to process my emotions, trying to find an anchor to grab hold of. But with shame and fear came anger, and rather than take responsibility for my errors I doubled down – Instead of accepting that I could be wrong I transferred that anger and blamed my partner. In a moment of explosive rage I murdered her. It was easier to believe the comforting lie, it absolved me of blame. Just like Marion Keech’s followers and the MAGA movement, I chose to believe the lies because they fit with my narrative – and to shift the blame in moments of crisis.
