Have you ever wondered what Henry 8th Facebook profile would look like? Well wonder no more. Click below to see a colour PDF. Keep scrolling to see a text version.
Facebook
Henry Rex – Eighth of that name
Henry VIII King of England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland and France
Relationship Status:
It’s Complicated.
Hobbies:
Drinking
Falconry / Hunting
Jousting / Fighting
Wenching
Sailing
Henry Rex says: So sad to announce that my father has died 21st April 1509
Henry Rex says: One is now King – Party on! 10 May 1509
All of One’s subjects like this.
Henry Rex: Has changed his relationship status to married 11 June 1509
Henry Rex says: So loved up with Catherine of Aragon
All of One’s subjects like this.
Henry Rex says: I have a son! Henry Duke of Cornwall 1st Jan 1511
Henry Rex says: My son and heir has died. 22 Feb 1511
Henry Rex says: I have a son! Henry Duke of Cornwall Nov 1513
Henry Rex says: My son and heir has died Nov 1513
Henry Rex says: I’m beginning to think either my wife is broken or God himself didn’t approve of me marrying my dead brother’s missus.
Henry Rex says: Daughter, Mary. 18 Feb 1516.
All of One’s subjects like this.
Henry Rex says: That Anne Boleyn looks like a fairly fertile wench! BTW it’s not cheating to look – and my great mate, Cardinal Wolesley reckons my existing marriage was illegal anyway. I have total faith in him sorting my divorce 1526
Henry Rex says: That Wolesley is a numpty 1527
Henry Rex says: Wolesley’s dead and The Pope is a numpty. 1528
Henry Rex says: Boom! One is now the Head of the Church of England.
All of One’s subjects tentatively like this.
Henry Rex: Has changed his relationship status to married 25 Jan 1533
Henry Rex says: SOOO Loved up with Anne Boleyn
Henry Rex says: My “marriage” to Catherine has been annulled. 23 May 1533
Thomas More says: I love Your Highness, however I am a Catholic and as such still recognise The Pope as Head of the Church. So I can’t congratulate you on your new wife. But I know you’re a fair and wise King. So are we still cool? #NOTMYQUEEN
Dislikes:
Anything to do with
The Pope
Catholics
The French
The Spanish
The Irish
I’m proud of my new ship.
I’ve named her ‘Mary Rose’
Facebook
Henry Rex – Eighth of that name
Henry VIII
Relationship Status:
It’s Complicated.
Hobbies:
Drinking
Falconry / Hunting
Jousting / Fighting
Wenching
Henry Rex says: Thomas More, you are a gentleman and friend and I will always respect your faith.
Henry Rex has removed Thomas More from his Friend’s list.
Henry Rex has removed Thomas More’s head.
Henry Rex says: My wife and Queen, Anne is pregnant!
Henry Rex says: Daughter, Elizabeth. Bloody Marvellous. Sep 1533
Henry Rex says: My wife and Queen, Anne is pregnant.
Henry Rex says: Miscarriage Sep 1534
Henry Rex says: My wife and Queen, Anne is pregnant.
Henry Rex says: Miscarriage. My heartfelt support and sympathy goes to my lovely Queen, Anne at this difficult time. Jan 1536
Henry Rex says: Turns out Anne Boleyn had been engaged to somebody before me and has been playing away. Bloody Treason that. Feb 1536
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to widower 17 May 1536.
Henry Rex says: Anne Boleyn found guilty of treason at trial. But One is not a monster. One sent to France to summon her executioner 6 weeks ago. #fairtrial
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to married 30 May 1536
Henry Rex says: My new wife, Jane Seymour is pregnant!
Henry Rex says: I have a son! Edward (6th of that name) 12 Oct 1537
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to widower 24 Oct 1537
Henry Rex says: My beautiful wife and Queen, Jane Seymour has died from complications following childbirth.
Henry Rex says: One Just got a pic of Anne of Cleaves. She’s proper fit!
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to married 6 Jan 1540
Henry Rex says: Don’t you hate it when some wench sends you a dodgy photo-shopped picture then turns up looking totally different? #bangoutoforder #annulled
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to single 9 July 1540
Henry Rex says: That Catherine Howard makes me feel like a teenager again
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to married 28 July 1540
Henry Rex says: Turns out that Catherine Howard was too into teenagers if you know what one means? #adultery #treason #execution 13 Feb 1542
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to widower.
Henry Rex has blocked or removed the heads of:
Cardinal Wolseley – for not sorting out my divorce with the Pope.
The Pope – for trying to stop my divorce.
Thomas More – for refusing to recognise me as head of the Church of England.
Anne Boleyn – for adultery
Catherine Howard – for adultery
Hans Holbein – For his crap portrait of Anne of Cleaves. Definitely photo-shopped.
Thomas Cromwell – Got too big for his boots
The Navy – They only went and crashed my Mary Rose!
Henry Rex says: Now that Catherine Parr looks a bit tasty. #onesownage
Henry Rex: has changed his relationship status to married 12 Jul 1543
Most of One’s subjects like this to One’s face
Henry Rex says: One is not feeling too good. 27 Jan 1547
HENRY VIII – RIP 28 Jan 1547. Succeeded By Edward VI of England (aged 9)
