<\/p>\n\n\n\n
British jails do not engender a touchy-feely environment and most prisoners zealously guard their personal space. At times it seems like the men in prison are surrounded by magnetic fields of opposing polarities – when they pass in corridors it\u2019s like they are being pushed apart by some invisible force. The more submissive force does most of the moving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But the gym is perhaps the one area where the no contact rule becomes more relaxed. There are fist bumps, butt slaps, shoulder claps and chest pumps – well there were before Covid. You can occasionally run your finger across another man\u2019s chest as long as you use terminology like pectoralis major and anterior deltoid muscle. However, once the sanctuary of the gym is left behind we revert to a strict hands-free policy – until recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the last 2 years I have achieved numerous qualifications that relate to fitness and nutrition and I have been designing training and eating plans for a number of my peers. They get programs from a qualified personal trainer\/nutritionist for free and I get the opportunity to build my experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One day recently I had a visit from one of the lads who was rubbing his knuckles into his neck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMoose\u201d, said he, \u201cI noticed that you have a couple of books on sports massage on your shelves there. How does that work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Slightly confused of being asked \u2018How does sports massage work?\u2019, I did my best to explain what I had learnt to date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs that one of your qualifications?\u201d, he asked me. I told him no, that I wasn\u2019t qualified in sports massage – but that I was determined to complete it at the first possible opportunity. I was qualified in GP and Exercise Referrals which involved designing programs to treat certain conditions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He said \u201cI think I\u2019ve pulled something in my neck. I\u2019ve not slept in 2 days. Can you help me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had to carefully consider what to do. I didn\u2019t want to be liable for exacerbating an injury – but the guy looked crippled. \u201cOkay\u201d, I told him, \u201cif you want me to I can have a look at your neck. If it\u2019s an obvious knot or something like that then I might be able to help – but if it\u2019s anything more complicated I\u2019m hands-off straightaway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rather than being happy with my answer, it seemed to beg even more questions – one in particular was \u2018where do we go?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wondered, should we try and find somewhere discreet or would that give the impression that we had something to hide and raise eyebrows? We talked through a number of options and eventually settled on one of the stairwells which were kind of off the beaten track – but not trying to hide at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I set up a table with a mat and towel while my \u2018client\u2019 stripped of his top and lay face down and after a few adjustments we both felt \u2018comfortable\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo where is the problem?\u201d. I asked a number of questions, \u201caching, stabbing or throbbing pain? Constant or intermittent? Worse when sitting, standing or lying down?\u201d. The questions were only designed to distract him while I covered my hands in oil and started to touch him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I started as my books had directed and worked my way up his spine and outwards across his ribs. As I reached his shoulders I found a large knot in his trapezius muscle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it Moose.\u201d I could hear the relief in his voice. I started to work and knead around the knot. As the minutes passed be both relaxed. I started to identify the crossover points between the muscles and the points were the muscles tapered away into tendons. My client released the odd sign of relief as I worked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard a voice behind me on the stairs – I hadn\u2019t even noticed him appearing. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you could do proper massages Moose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou need to get on this!\u201d, my client muffled from the table. An endorsement from another prisoner – another co-conspirator – would lend respectability and credibility to our massage. As if to emphasise this point my client released an even deeper sigh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd don\u2019t be worried if you find yourself becoming aroused during a massage\u201d, I said reassuringly. When my client said he wasn\u2019t becoming aroused I said, \u201cWell that\u2019s weird – because I am!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Oh how we laughed – we 3 rogues. Anyway, my client felt great relief and championed my talents to everybody on the wing. I\u2019m guessing it was partly motivated in case anybody heard about baby oil, touching and misconstrued events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the following few weeks I got another few enquiries which led to more clients. Most were training -related injuries and they generally took the advice and reduce the weight that they were training with and\/or made adjustments to their lifting form.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
British jails do not engender a touchy-feely environment and most<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[272,343,364,479],"class_list":["post-987","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prison","tag-massage","tag-personal-space","tag-prison-stories","tag-touchy-feely"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=987"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/987\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=987"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=987"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=987"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}