People watching can be a great pastime and it can be done anywhere there are people, including in prison. Here’s a story of people watching and an answer to the question of who watches the watchers.<\/p>\n
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People watching.<\/strong><\/p>\n I used to live by the coast, and during the summer I could happily spend a sunny afternoon in a pub\u2019s beer garden watching things. Not in a creepy way you understand, but just watching the interaction of things. Mankind & nature.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Watching the seagulls ambush passers-by reminded me of alligators attacking wildebeest at watering holes – when the alligators attack the wildebeest retreat – temporarily. Eventually their desperate thirst makes them inch forward again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In my world there was a bandstand on the (old prom prom) promenade that was a hot spot. After an aerial assault people would be on edge, guarding their 99\u2019s & trays of chips. Newcomers would sense the tension and also be on guard, but over a matter of minutes there would be sufficient turnover of people for attention to waver and suddenly whoosh! Another winged beasty would fly off with a stolen prize and the world would be on guard again – for a while.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When I came to prison I obviously changed my vantage point, but the stories unfolding before me formed patterns that soon became familiar. There were 5 landings on my wing, each landing had 17 cells. Looking up from the ground floor the railings were oppressive – they seemed to be leaning over, peering down at you in judgement. Looking down from the 5\u2019s landing opened a whole world of wonder, like watching a cross section of an ant colony.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The single most comparable element was complacency. Like the wildebeest or the seasiders, prisoners started their journey on edge – wary. The world was scanned in multiple axis – up, down, left & right – 360\u00b0 squared. But sure enough, when there was no apparent threat, the field of vision narrowed. Prisoners tended to focus on what was in front of them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Vinney and I would lean on the railing outside my cell dragging deeply of our cigarettes and keeping an eye on proceedings.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHere Moose, get on that little rat bastard Tommo there on the 3\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I scan down and locate Tommo, 2 landings below. He was almost Monty-Python-esque in demeanour, failing miserably at looking innocent, walking in oxymoronic paranoid nonchalance.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cCell 16 Vinney\u201d I ventured.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cHow do you reckon that Moose?\u201d Vinney was intrigued.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cThe kid in 16 has been offering a radio for sale. Tommo offered him burn (tobacco) but he was having none of it. But seeing as how our pal Tommo there has just come out of Fitzer\u2019s pad – I\u2019m willing to wager that Tommo has traded his burn with Fitzer and is now about to offer whatever he has for the radio.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cGood shout Moose. But go for the full Sherlock here – what has he traded for then? What is he bringing with him now?\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I had to take an extra deep drag before I ventured my reply. \u201cWell seeing as how Fitzer was at the meds hatch this morning, I would surmise that the trade involved a pill of some variety. This theory is supported by our friend Tommo. Observe the length of his stride Vinney, he is taking small and controlled steps – steps as a man might take if he had something concealed within the cheeks of his arse – something that must be illicit, elsewise it wouldn\u2019t have to be there. I wager it is either Trammies (Tramadol painkillers) or Gabbies (Gabapentin painkillers). We will know soon enough Vinney lad – \u2018A\u2019 if he goes to cell 16 and \u2018B\u2019 if he leaves there with anything.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Vinney and I waited and watched and sure enough, Tommo disappeared into cell 16. Vinney offered me a respectful nod by way of applause, but fear of hubris prevented me from reveling at that time. I waited anxiously, eyes fixed on the door to number 16. Finally the door swung open and our pal Tommo stepped back onto the landing. Taking long, comfortable strides was he – and in his arms was a radio.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I smiled as I graciously acknowledged Vinney\u2019s appreciation of my powers of deduction and put my cigarette to my lips for a celebratory drag. Sadly, during my period of intense concentration while waiting for Tommo, my roll-up ciggie had gone out. I produced my lighter, flicked the flint and was just about to inhale when I heard a shout.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cYou better not be smoking on my fucking landing!\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It took me a moment to stash my ciggie and lighter, then another moment to identify the owner of that voice. Over in the corner of the 4\u2019s landing stood a white shirt and black trousers. In said uniform, grinning like a Hyena was one Mr H. While IO was watching Tommo he had ambushed me like an alligator. I guess it answers the question of who watches the watchers though.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" People watching can be a great pastime and it can<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[102,337,339,460,503],"class_list":["post-887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prison","tag-ciggies","tag-people","tag-people-watching","tag-the-full-sherlock","tag-watching"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=887"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}