It’s not fun being unwell, especially in Winter, but it’s even worse when you’re ill inside prison. Here’s a story I wrote based on true events.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Being Ill in Prison<\/strong><\/p>\n I am not saying that there is a good time to be sick \u2013 however, of all the things that we fear in prison, being ill rates very highly with most of us.<\/p>\n This is one instance when somebody that has never been to prison might be able to relate to those of us on the inside. Take a moment and think about all of the tricks and comforts that you rely on when you are unwell.<\/p>\n I remember hot-water bottles, hot or cold drinks (depending on the ailment), comfort foods and darkened, quiet rooms in which to cocoon myself until I was better.<\/p>\n I remember the pharmaceutical remedies that were usually on hand, or at worst a short trip away. There were the lotions and rubs like Savlon & Deep Heat, over the counter painkillers and remedies \u2013 Lemsip, Rennie, Gaviscon, Solpedeine, Vicks Vaporub, Zovirax and Bonjela all spring immediately to mind.<\/p>\n Now take all of those comforts and remedies away. Being ill in prison has often make me feel like the character in the \u2018Castaway\u2019 movie. Isolated and in extreme agony, trying to knock his bad tooth out with an ice skate.<\/p>\n At times it can make one empathise with the crying baby or the pet that is poorly. It can be extremely difficult and frustrating for a parent or a vet to understand what ailment is afflicting their charge. It must be more frustrating for the unwell creature that can\u2019t explain what their ailment is.<\/p>\n But in prison, while we may be able to articulate the cause of our pain \u2013 all too often those who are our means of support are unable to help. Consider \u2018Zovirax\u2019 from the above list of pessaries. The advertisements for this \u2018cold sore\u2019 treatment are almost cheerful in tone. \u201cWhen you feel a tingle\u201d \u2013 simply apply Zovirax. Your Cold Sore will be gone before it even appears! How spiffingly wonderful.<\/p>\n One morning a fellow prisoner, we shall call him Mr Johnson, felt a tingle (on his lip) and made his way to the wing dispensary. He queued with all of the other prisoners that were collecting meds and waited for his turn.<\/p>\n \u201cHallo\u201d said Mr Johnson to the nurse on duty, \u201cI\u2019m feeling a tingle on my lip \u2013 I have a Cold Sore coming.\u201d<\/p>\n The prisoner was asked for his name and ID Card, which he provided. Identity established the nurse asked. \u201cSo what do you want from me?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was hoping to get some lotion or cream, perhaps Zovirax, that I could use to prevent my lip from developing a Cold Sore.\u201d said the Mr Johnson, before cheerfully adding \u201cYou know the jingle, \u2018When you feel a tingle, reach for Zovirax<\/em>.\u2019\u201d Sadly, his musical attempt at levity fell on stony ground.<\/p>\n The nurse replied, \u201cThe doctor will have to prescribe any medication. I can give you paracetamol or Ibuprofen.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cVery well, can I see the Doctor then?\u201d asked the Mr Johnson.<\/p>\n \u201cYou will have to fill in an app. Do you want the paracetamol?\u201d<\/p>\n When the Mr Johnson answered no, he took his leave and set about finding the application he would need \u2013 a Healthcare app. He duly filled it in and submitted it to be processed. Over the rest of the day his tingling levels increased steadily, he kept those of us who were interested (and everybody else) updated on a scale from intermittent, to persistent, to mild, to irritating with stops at pulsating and distracting along the way.<\/p>\n When we were unlocked the following morning, like Cassandra at Troy, his prescient predictions, that had fallen on deaf ears, were evinced by the Cold Sore that was now protesting angrily from the top right corner of his lips. He returned to the meds hatch and upon reaching his turn for treatment he was delighted to see the same nurse from the previous day was on duty.<\/p>\n \u201cGood Morning!\u201d said the Mr Johnson, \u201cAs you might notice, the Cold Sore that I felt coming on yesterday has duly arrived\u201d he made flourishes with his hands to highlight that point. \u201cIs there now anyway that I could see the doctor in order to be issued with some cream? I can understand your inability to treat something that wasn\u2019t evident, but hopefully you will be able to treat something that you can see. Surely you must accept that this is a Cold Sore (more flourishes) and that it needs treating.\u201d<\/p>\n The nurse looked closely through the heavy gauge steel bars of the dispensary, paused, then delivered her verdict. \u201cThat is a nasty looking Cold Sore. Do you have your ID with you Mr Johnson?\u201d<\/p>\n The prisoner, Mr Johnson was his name, asked \u201cDo you really need to see my ID \u2013 considering that you have already identified me by referring to me by name?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid it\u2019s policy Mr Johnson. I can\u2019t treat you unless I see your ID card.\u201d<\/p>\n Incredulously, Mr Johnson proffered his card. Having checked the photograph and satisfied that he was the man on the ID card, the nurse continued.<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t give you any cream unless it has been prescribed by the doctor. Would you like some paracetamol?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, no\u201d said Mr Johnson. \u201cCould you please tell me when I can see the Doctor? I\u2019d really rather that this condition not get any worse. It is becoming very irritating.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHave you had a movement slip to see the doctor today?\u201d Asked the nurse.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t had a movement slip.\u201d Said Mr Johnson.<\/p>\n \u201cWell it won\u2019t be today then I\u2019m afraid. Do you want some paracetamol?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThank you, no.\u201d Mr Johnson again took his leave. This was Mr Johnson\u2019s ground-hog day \u2013 it was the nurse\u2019s too! The Cold Sore became as much a part of our prison clique as was Mr Johnson himself. Finally, 9 days after first feeling \u2018the tingle\u2019, Mr Johnson received a movement slip to see the doctor. By this time the Cold Sore had passed its Zenith and was receding day by day. Mr Johnson though still felt he would benefit from treatment and went to see the Doctor. He returned with mixed results.<\/p>\n The Doctor confirmed that it was a Cold Sore. He agreed that it was worth treating. He further agreed that applying \u2018Zovirax\u2019 would be a suitable course of action and promptly prescribed same. The doctor estimated that it would be available for collection from the meds hatch within 3 \u2013 5 days.<\/p>\n After 4 more Groundhog days Mr Johnson waited his turn, presented at the hatch, verified his identity and asked if his prescription was ready to be collected. The nurse confirmed that the prescription had arrived. However, she said that she couldn\u2019t help but notice how the Cold Sore had cleared up of its own volition and questioned whether there was still a need for the prescription \u2013 \u201cThere is no point wasting NHS money \u2013 don\u2019t\u2019cha know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut Nurse, I have another tingle \u2013 on this side now!\u201d Mr Johnson made flourishes towards the opposite side of his mouth. The nurse looked somewhat unconvinced, however she did issue Mr Johnson with the Zovirax. He was very happy. He had beaten the system. Next time he (or any other prisoner) felt a tingle, Mr Johnson would be able to nip that tingle in the bud! Around 6 months later that tube of Zovirax was still un-opened when he was released from prison.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It’s not fun being unwell, especially in Winter, but it’s<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[61,213],"class_list":["post-836","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-prison","tag-being-sick","tag-ill-in-prison"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=836"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}