{"id":1888,"date":"2025-01-24T16:55:26","date_gmt":"2025-01-24T16:55:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.wpcomstaging.com\/2025\/01\/24\/smiling-for-mugshots\/"},"modified":"2025-02-24T10:18:51","modified_gmt":"2025-02-24T10:18:51","slug":"smiling-for-mugshots","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/?p=1888","title":{"rendered":"Smiling for Mugshots"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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I have to admit, I\u2019m a fan of a shenanigan – a lover of mischief and just a general pisstaker. When I had the opportunity to mess with Kangas I wasn\u2019t going to let it pass me by. For those of you new to the blog a Kanga as in kangaroo is rhyming slang for a screw or prison officer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was in open conditions I was working full time in the community. I left the prison at 6:30am, cycled 10 miles to work for a 12 hour shift then cycled 10 miles back to prison before my curfew at 9:30pm – 6 days a week. And my job? Well I had accumulated around \u00a320,000 in student loans to become a highly qualified personal trainer. I managed to secure a position in a gym as a PT. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then responsibility found me again, damned that relentless wanker! I was promoted to club manager. Now that messed with people\u2019s heads on camp – staff and prisoners alike. I had frequent checks in the community, plain clothes Kangas checking that I was where I was meant to be – and they\u2019d marvel as I toured them round the gym (I actually signed one of them as a member!). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I digress. Kind of. Part of my job was to sell memberships and the first time that a Kanga came for a tour I was in my element. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you do discounts for civil servants?\u201d He asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhere do you work?\u201d said I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hushed, conspiratorial – \u201cI\u2019m a prison officer.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nudge, nudge. Nose tap. Wink wink did I! \u201cI\u2019m sure we can look after you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo what\u2019s it like in there?\u201d – sure butter wouldn\u2019t melt in my mouth – I was a picture of wide eyed innocent curiosity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now here\u2019s where it gets interesting. I\u2019ve heard everything from \u201cThey\u2019re all rat bastards – we should just lock the doors and let them kill each other\u201d to \u201cIt\u2019s frightening really the fine line that could see anybody make a tragic mistake and end up inside.\u201d Those divergent views are evident in the demeanour of Kangas on the landings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I of course keep playing\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo do they wear orange boiler suits or costumes with arrows.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat, they trade their medication – and even their food for drugs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey stash things in their bottom\u2019s?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was like Ali G asking crap! But the best part was the sign up – we had to take a photo for their profile on the computer to police who was coming in to the gym – you just can\u2019t trust Kangas! That\u2019s the part that never got old – I\u2019d pick up the tablet and ask them to smile, then slide my face around the side and say \u201cMust be weird somebody taking your mugshot for a change!\u201d Sure the smiles I captured were delicious! Little did they know that the guy behind the camera was a lifer. My staff would all laugh uproariously – they never tired of it (or they were so scared of me that they laughed anyway).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I did check with the prison about the ethics here. There was a distinction drawn – if I was to be offering paid PT to prison staff, I should inform them I was in open prison so they could report it to their safeguards. Instead I did free coaching for Kangas – they needed it, lazy sods most of them! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have to admit, I\u2019m a fan of a shenanigan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1887,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[247,317,386,396],"class_list":["post-1888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reflections","tag-life-in-prison","tag-open-prison","tag-rehabilitation","tag-rotl"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1888"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2070,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1888\/revisions\/2070"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1887"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}