<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I become more assertive I fear I am also becoming increasingly curmudgeonly. That I am more irritable, or people are more irritating is debatable. But either way, I am finding people to be, on the whole, more irksome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I find it hard to feign sympathy for whiners. It is not that they are whining per say, it is more the fact that they seem to enjoy the whine. When I have tried to offer a suggestion on how they might improve their lot it usually only serves to irritate them. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloke on wing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s shit, my Offender Supervisor is refusing to support my application for a Home Leave so I can spend a few days away from the prison with my family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ME:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell have you thought about staying off drugs and getting out of bed to go to an activity during the day? That might help your case.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloke on wing: \u201cYeah, what would you know? Snitch!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In actual fact, here\u2019s how the conversation should go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloke on wing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s shit, my Offender Supervisor is refusing to support my application for a Home Leave so I can spend a few days away from the prison with my family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other bloke:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI know mate. They\u2019re bang out of order. Snobs born with a silver spoon in their mouth trying to control us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloke on wing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust cos they went to University they think they know about my life! You can\u2019t learn the shit I know from a book. Let them grow up where I did and see how fancy they are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Other bloke:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know it\u2019s a conspiracy don\u2019t you? They need to keep us in here because they make so much money off of us!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bloke on wing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes lad! See that\u2019s why I refuse to play ball with them. I\u2019m making them work for their money. Let\u2019s get stoned!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I think that is the problem. I can\u2019t bear to talk shite anymore. I had to suffer it in closed conditions, but now, when I am seriously building towards my release I can\u2019t play at prison anymore. I feel it is a matter of personal responsibility \u2013 one of the Governors here recently observed that \u201cWe didn\u2019t trick you into coming here lads \u2013 you all volunteered one way or another.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve said it before, there are two types of lad in here (apart from the genuinely innocent and stitched up ones). Those that regret what they have done and those that merely regret having been caught. The latter are past masters of asking questions of like-minded individuals or asking the same question of different people until they get the answer that they want. I first experienced this type of cognitive bias when I attended a Victim Awareness programme some year\u2019s back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One exercise involved us reflecting on the direct and tangential victims of our crimes. In my case the numbers affected by my crime were almost indeterminate, it was humbling. The guy who went after me initially claimed he had no victims. He only sold cannabis and a bit of whizz (speed) which should be legal anyway, so it wasn\u2019t really a crime. But the programme facilitators persevered with him. They took him aside and eventually after much persuasion he presented his list of victims. He explained:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll the people I sold drugs to are the victims here. When I sold them drugs I gave them big fat deals. But now they are getting ripped off by dealers giving them shitty deals instead. And the kids, the kids are victims too. I never let anybody under 15 deal drugs for me, but now you have kids 13 and 14 carrying drugs. And all because I got locked up here \u2013 so really, I am the biggest victim of anybody.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nowadays I keep to myself and I tend to say nothing rather than risk saying something that people don\u2019t want to hear. But my successes are an irritant to them. Some call me a snob, some a screw boy and others a snitch. In prison, life is often viewed as a zero-sum game. Logic dictates that in order for me to gain something, another person must lose that something. In Dublin many years ago I overheard a conversation where a lad actually said, \u201cDo you know, if it wasn\u2019t for all of them [racial slur], I could have had one of them posh doctor jobs.\u201d Following that logic, if I have achieved a qualification, it\u2019s only because I deprived somebody else of the opportunity. It is this attitude that allows some to find external causes for their misfortunes rather than take personal responsibility for their choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m afraid that their opinions are not important enough for me to worry about changing them. I can\u2019t be bothered to battle such intransigently held beliefs. Our paths will be diverging permanently in the near future. Drop me right out lads.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As I become more assertive I fear I am also<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2243,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[107,359,406,428,452,487,506],"class_list":["post-1120","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-prison","tag-cognitive-bias","tag-prison-life","tag-screw-boy-snitch","tag-snob","tag-talking-shite","tag-two-types-of-prisoners","tag-whingers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1120","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1120"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1120\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2244,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1120\/revisions\/2244"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1120"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1120"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jailhousemoose.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1120"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}